EP: Since you have had both genitalia, do you think you’re now a better lover?

DK: I think there are many factors that go into making someone a good lover, so I wouldn’t make that automatic assumption.  But I do know that a guy cannot treat a woman’s body the way he treats his own.  Meaning, it’s important not to be too rough or too fast, too soon.  

EP:  Do you have any sexual limitations? 

DK:  I am able to do everything.  I’m able to orgasm and I do have full sensation. 

EP:  Are you able to ejaculate?

DK:  No.  I’m not a messy lover. 

EP: Do you have an idol?

DK:  I don’t really idolize anyone, although I do respect various persons for different reasons.  I think Melissa Ethridge is very authentic, and I would love to have a drink with Bill Clinton and Marilyn Milian from “The People’s Court” because they are both quick and sharp and incredibly charismatic. 

EP:  Are you dating anyone?

DK: I’m dating casually but not in a serious relationship at this time. 

EP:  How does it feel knowing you can’t have children?  Do you want children one day?

DK: I do think there’s something intimate about combining your genes with a spouse, but right now I’m just starting my life in many ways and so having a child isn’t what I’m focusing on at the present time. But I should add that even before my transition, I never pictured myself being the one to carry or bear the child, I just imagined putting my ear to my wife’s belly or going out to pick up some ice cream for her at midnight. 

EP: What emotions did you feel going into each surgery?  Were you more nervous or excited?

DK: I was always looking forward to each surgery.  With each one I actually forgot what it felt like to have that former body part.  It was sort of like a déjà vu response.  There was always that initial excitement and then it became more of a relaxation, where I finally felt like my body was becoming a place my soul wanted to inhabit. 

EP:  During these surgeries, you were also working full-time at a very prestigious legal job.  Tell us about how your education and career accomplishments

DK:  I graduated valedictorian of my law school class and then got a job as a staff attorney for the California Supreme Court for a year and after that spent the next twelve years as a judicial staff attorney for the Federal Courts. I analyzed criminal appeals and made recommendations to the judges for their disposition.  To balance that out – and avoid being a total nerd  -- I spent my free nights and weekends, working on songwriting (rock) and completing the book. 

EP:  Well – in seeing you and speaking with you, there’s no denying you’re definitely a man.  What are your opinions on the term “transgender” in particular? 

DK:  I don’t personally relate to that term because it is a political term that was embraced years ago by those who feel like they are neither male nor female.  They don’t want to change; they just want society to change to accommodate their identity – which is a valid request.  My own experience is that I had a simple birth defect where my brain got shaped opposite to my body (which research shows happens in the third month of the womb through a hormonal shift) and now that my body has been corrected to match my mind, I consider myself just an ordinary guy.  In fact, despite my years of socialization as female, nobody had to teach me how to live in the male culture, it just happened naturally because my brain was already there.   

EP:  What would you say are the main differences between men and women?

DK:  First, I think there is a continuum of “brain sex” so I don’t want to suggest that all men and women fit into the conventional male or female brain.  In fact, 19 out of 20 times they can tell a person’s sex from a PET scan of the brain, but that means 5% of people aren’t easy to classify.  But having said that, I think in general, a male brain is more focused on visual beauty than a female one and that men are more inclined to take up greater physical space than women, have higher aggression, etc.  At the same time, while our brains are flavored by our biochemistry, we each have a soul underneath and the needs of the soul are universally the same – the need for deep connection, to be seen for who we are, to matter in this world.  

EP:  What are your feelings on the nature vs. nurture debate?

DK:  I think we have to honor each perspective.  I spent one year doing research on that, and I’ve come to understand that we all come into the world with a biological blueprint that we play out throughout our lives.  Socialization also has a powerful impact, but I think it’s good to know about the blueprint so that if someone tries to stretch us too far beyond it, we don’t beat ourselves up when we can’t go where they want us to.

EP:  Being that college students will be reading this, and that they are indeed rather impressionable individuals, are there any words of wisdom you’d like to pass along?

DK: I know that there are people out there, both men and women, who don’t feel comfortable in their bodies.  For some of you it may have to do with gender identity, but for many more it is because someone used your body for their own needs or made you feel ashamed of it.  I just want you to know that underneath it all, your body remains a beautiful and precious temple -- and it is never too late to reclaim it as yours.  You deserve that peace.

 CT:  Well put, Dhillon.  It was truly an honor speaking with you.  Best of luck to you.   You really are one hell of a guy.    To learn more about Khosla, make sure to visit his Web site, www.dhillonkhosla.com , and check out his media clip from “The View” show, as well as information about how to purchase his book “Both Sides Now.”